


Coinnosseurship

by unspeakable3



Series: welcome to the most noble and ancient house of black [83]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Boys Being Boys, Drabble, Drabble Collection, F/M, Gen, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), POV Regulus Black, Prompt Fic, Prompt Fill, Regulus Black-centric, Slytherin, Teenagers, Wordcount: 100-1.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:34:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21545353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unspeakable3/pseuds/unspeakable3
Summary: “This is… this is objectification!”
Relationships: Regulus Black & Evan Rosier, Regulus Black & Original Character(s)
Series: welcome to the most noble and ancient house of black [83]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1395592
Comments: 5
Kudos: 28





	Coinnosseurship

**_FITTEST WITCHES OF HOGWARTS (5th Year)_ **

_Compiled by:  
_ _Evan Rosier  
_ _Angus Higgs  
_ _Robert Dunbar  
_ _Thorfinn Rowle  
_ ~~_Regulus Black_ _Regul_ _Reg_ _RAB_~~ _ReguLOSER Black, The Enormous PRUDE_

There had been a scuffle - Regulus had been mortified at the thought of having his name anywhere _near_ such a list - but Evan had, predictably, won.

_1\. Aurora Greengrass  
_ _Tits: O  
_ _Arse: E  
_ _Legs: O  
_ _Face: O  
_ _Blood: S28_

~~ _2\. Atlanta Fawcett_ ~~

“Rob, you can’t put a half-blood in second place,” Evan sighed. “Even if she does have a magnificent arse.”

“Peachy,” agreed Angus. “Could get a real grip on that.”

Regulus stared at him in horror.

“Fine,” Robert sighed. “Put her in third.”

_2\. Lorelei Lee  
_ _Tits: E  
_ _Arse: E  
_ _Legs: O  
_ _Face: O  
_ _Blood: Pure_

_3\. Atlanta Fawcett  
_ _Tits: O  
_ _Arse: O  
_ _Legs: O  
_ ~~ _Face: A_ ~~

“Her face is _not_ Acceptable!” Robert protested. “She has these… these _eyes_ …”

“Eyes?” Evan snorted.

~~ _Face: E_ ~~

“Give me that,” Evan growled, snatching the quill back from Robert. “As instigator of this fine list, I have the final say. And Atlanta Fawcett’s face does _not_ Exceed my Expectations.”

_Face: A  
_ _Blood: Half_

_4\. Clementine Macmillan_

“This is abhorrent!” Regulus squawked. He could _not_ stand to sit there and listen to them start debating Clementine’s… _assets._ “This is… this is _objectification!_ ”

Four pairs of eyes turned to stare at him. Evan was looking rather amused, one eyebrow quirked.

“You can’t just… _appraise_ witches’ physical attributes like this!” he blustered on. “What about- what about their personalities? Their intelligence or- or their humour? Their _interests_ and _passions?_ ”

“Oh, alright. You want us to sort witches by their _passion_? Where would you put Clem then, hmm?”

“No! That’s not- _ugh,_ ” Regulus groaned. “I just mean- how would you lot like it, if there were a bunch of witches sat around grading _you_ on your appearance?”

Robert sat up straighter, puffed out his chest. Angus ruffled a hand through his hair. Finn tensed his arm and glanced at his own muscles.

“I’d say that’d be pretty fucking great,” Evan grinned. “How do you reckon Clem would rate _my_ arse? Bloody Outstanding, I’d say.”


End file.
